Some Wonderland
by Tigress2475
Summary: Cardverse AU- Arthur was not pleased when he tumbled down the rabbit hole. Now he has to deal with the backwards ways of this 'Wonderland'. He might just go mad himself while he deals with all the crazy people here. To top it all off, he has to deal with the idiot King of Spades the whole time- and has to constantly insist that he is not a bloody queen. (USUK)
1. Chapter 1

**So I wrote a thing. Cardverse... yessss. (Dawn loves herself some Cardverse)**

**SO basically this is a Cardverse AU with Alice in Wonderland themes/references. It's not quite a crossover, because it's definitely more Cardverse than AIW, but still.**

* * *

London was dark and bleak as usual. The skies poured forth, leaving the unfortunate people below in the cold rain. Many people rushed around with parasols- women hurried home and men offered their umbrellas to the dispossessed ladies that had no protection from the rain. Even the poor women found themselves offered shelter under the kindness of strangers.

Arthur found this all very distasteful, and not just because he was huddling under the roof of a small stall on the street waiting for his brothers to return. He, like the poor ladies, had no umbrella. Unlike the women, no one bothered the man a second glance. Not that he _really _disagreed. He was a gentleman after all, and if he had had an umbrella he would have probably offered it to a poor lady without a second thought. He was just being spiteful, as another drop leaked through the roof and smacked him in the face.

"For goodness sake!" Arthur snapped, stomping his foot. This only caused the water below him to splash up and soak through his already wet boots.

Arthur wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms. He risked peering out from under his shelter for a minute to look for his brothers, to no avail. Dark thoughts starting waltzing through his head. If they had left him in the rain alone he would skin them. He started staring off into space with a pleasant expression as he imagined just all the ways he could punish his brothers.

Another few minutes passed and Arthur began to have a sinking feeling that his siblings were not returning. He kicked at a nearby pile of dirty rags. How dare they! When he found them they would be in an amazing amount of trouble. No matter how much they disliked each other, they had no right to leave Arthur alone in the crowded city- especially in the rain. And after they had dragged him out there too! The very air around him seemed to become colder as he began to rage. If people had been ignoring the poor man earlier, they were outright avoiding him now.

He started to mutter curses under his breath as he braced himself and walked out into the pouring rain. He gasped as the cold rain pelted him, and he took of racing down the street. He only grew angrier at the looks the well-dressed women and men gave him, ranging from pity to disgust. He was only a poor merchant's son from outside the city after all, and not even the first or second born either. No, he was the _fifth _son, and deemed worthless as dirt. Alistair would inherit the business, William would study abroad, even the twins had a decent chance of making themselves into something, being talented craftsmen. Arthur however, was dismissed and left alone in the rain.

He was so angry he debated if he should even return home, but one thing kept him trudging forward. Anna, his little sister, always had a smile on her face to see him. She would pout or stick her tongue out at the older brothers, but she always ran into Arthur's embraces. The thought of her brought a slight smile to Arthur's face, even as the rain plastered his messy hair to his face. He held his arms around himself, starting to shiver.

Finally, Arthur reached the edge of the city. He sighed as he slumped against the wall of a small store and hid under the small outcropping to rest for a moment. He brushed his bangs out of his face almost violently and rung out the bottom of his shirt and coat.

Out near the edge of the bustling city, not many noble people could be seen. Almost everyone wandering the city out here were of a lower standing. Some even raced around without a parasol like Arthur had moments ago. It made Arthur feel somewhat better, even if it was a bit bitter, to know that others had it as bad as him- if not worse. It wasn't really his concern though.

He straightened as he heard a slight hiccup from his right. He turned to look in that direction, but saw no one. He shrugged, energizing himself for another rush into the rain before the sound caught his attention again. He frowned, he had just written other people off as 'not his business', but the sound seemed almost child-like. He started padding cautiously around the corner of the shop.

He paused as he heard it again. It was almost decidedly a child crying. Arthur felt is brow furrow in worry. Sure, there were plenty of urchins living out on the streets, but Arthur usually did his best to ignore that fact. He always felt terrible, but there was nothing he could do. When he heard this though, it broke his heart.

He peered around the corner and saw a small boy sitting in the alleyway. The small blonde was dressed up in exotic looking cloths in shades of red and black, small hat adorning his head. He gave a quizzical look to the hat the boy was wearing, which had small horns sewn on, but gave it no mention. Arthur was surprised, as everything about the boy looked expensive. Why would a noble boy be out in the slums of the town? He reached forward towards the boy cautiously.

"Hello? Are you okay?" He asked, nervous that the rain drowned him out completely. The boy looked up, apparently hearing his words. Arthur wasn't quite sure if it was rain or tears that streaked his face.

The boy jumped up suddenly and ran up to Arthur, causing the man to back up slightly in surprise. The golden-haired boy stopped short in front of Arthur by only a few centimeters. He peered up at the man's face, crying apparently forgotten. Arthur shifted uncomfortably, not liking the severe look he was receiving from the boy.

"I said-" He began again but the boy nodded sharply.

"Yeah, I was just crying." He said bluntly. Arthur furrowed his brow.

"Well why? Are you okay?" He asked, leaning forward and reaching out to the boy. The boy jumped back, frightened by the sudden movement. He blinked for a second then finally answered Arthur's question.

"I broke my watch, now I can't tell if I'll be late or not." He said, pulling out an elaborate and expensive looking watch. Arthur glared at it and stiffened slightly. Why was this noble out here crying? He was practically mockingpeople like Arthur with this situation.

"Well that's too bad. Just run home and get your daddy to buy you a new one." He said somewhat coldly. After all, the boy obviously wasn't actually in any distress, he had already stopped his crying.

"I can't!" The boy said, stomping his foot. "Gilbert said I couldn't break another clock! Besides, I can't go home yet. But I'll be LATE NOW." The boy turned in a circle and waved at the air. "How will I ever be recognized if I can't even be on time! I'm always late and it's no FAIR!"

Arthur rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, this little brat was quickly getting on his nerves. If the boy was so concerned about being late, he should just rush home now. From what Arthur could tell, because of this 'recognized' business the boy was going on about, maybe he was a younger son of some rich noble. "That's your own fault. It's not my problem if _you're _late."

The boy spun and glared at him then. "Oh but it is you English jerk!" He snapped. "What a jerk!" He yelled again as if to reinstate it, crossing his arms. "Yup, that's what I'll call you from now on. _You English jerk_."

Arthur squinted at him. "But you're English too. Besides I doubt you'll be seeing more of me." Arthur turned and began walking out into the rain. This boy could take care of himself or get lost in the city forever for all Arthur cared. He was obviously a entitled little snob.

"I am _not. _Why would I _ever _want to be English!" The boy cried after him, acting like it was an insult. Arthur just scoffed, as this statement had been yelled at him in a posh, very _English, _accent.

Arthur shivered as the cold from the rain seeped into his very bones.

It was going to be a long walk home.

* * *

Arthur glared at his older brother.

"No." He said.

Alistair simply snorted at him. "You don't have a choice buddy, William needs another pair of arms and the twins and I are far too busy. _You _however don't have anything better to do." William shifted uncomfortably by the door upon hearing his name. William was maybe the nicest of Arthur's brothers, but that didn't change the fact that he never stepped in when Arthur was antagonized by his other siblings.

Arthur pinched at the bridge of his nose. It had only been two days since his trek back home in the rain and he still felt sick. He looked over to where William and Anna stood by the door. Sighing and shooting one last leer at his oldest brother he walked resignedly over to his two siblings. Anna gave him a sympathetic smile as William pushed open the door of the small shop they all stood in. Arthur gave a slight smile back at his younger sister before setting his face back in his usual glare.

At least with Anna with him, and with William being the slightly more acceptable brother, he wouldn't be left alone in the city again.

When they finally reached the intercity, Anna hopped excitedly and rushed over to a dress shop. William followed her enthusiastically and Arthur trailed slightly behind. Arthur didn't exactly like the idea that they were here to buy Anna a dress for a fancy party. He wasn't pleased that their father was already making plans to marry off his younger sister at all. Sure, Anna was sixteen now, but in Arthur's mind she was still a little girl.

He internally kicked himself, at least she could marry into a better life. As long as his father didn't try to pair her off with some nasty old nobleman and Anna was happy, he'd be happy for her too. In all honesty, he was mostly selfishly upset that his only loving sibling was leaving him to the wolves.

He watched as Anna and William went through dresses in numerous shades of red and green. He scoffed slightly at the gaudy dresses and sighed as Anna and William got upset and didn't know why they couldn't find a decent dress. Arthur strolled over to the piles of dresses and dug through them for a bit. When he walked over to Anna again, she was wearing a bright yellow dress with diamond patterns embroidered on the hems. It wasn't all that terrible, but it clashed with her vibrant green eyes.

"Here." He said, tossing a dress at her. She fumbled slightly, catching it. She held the dress up by the shoulders and gawked at it. It was a floor length ballgown, layers of skirts billowing out from the waist. The dress shined in various shades of blue, giving the illusion of water. It had full-length sleeves made from a dark blue lace- which then trailed down the back of the dress. Anna squealed in excitement before rushing off to the changing room.

Arthur smiled fondly as Anna emerged in the deep blue dress. She clapped her hands excitedly and spun, flaring the dress out. "Thank you Arthur!" She said, running over and pulling the man into a tight hug. Arthur chuckled at his younger sister.

"Well as long as you're happy I'm happy." He replied truthfully. His younger sister pulled back slightly and smiled mischievously at him.

"That's why you're my _favorite _brother." She stated, just loud enough for William to hear. The older brother just smiled at Anna. William accepted the teasing graciously, proving that he really was the least terrible brother, Alistair or the twins would have thrown a fit.

"Well Mr. Not a Favorite Brother over here's paying, so let's go buy it." William said, walking off to work out a deal with the shop owner while Anna went off to get undressed. Arthur just stood by the doorway, glad _his _pick had been the final choice.

"So you like blue best huh?" A small voice said beside him, causing him to jump. He spun to face the small golden-haired boy from earlier, the one with the broken pocket watch. "Really? I would have pegged you for a red or yellow person myself. The Blues are kind of too much for me- though Yellow's pretty bad too."

"What in the world are you talking about?" He snapped at the boy, more confused than anything. The boy was wearing the same clothes as he had been the day Arthur had met him, but they were surprisingly clean. Maybe he had more than one pair. Arthur squinted, now that he took a closer look the boy's clothes were downright odd. He wore some strange exotic get-up. What had Arthur the most confused was the hat pulled down over the boy's head.

"Colors of course." The boy said, looking up at Arthur. "I like black personally, but that's just because Gilbert said that black was the best color- and Gilbert's always right."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Is that why you're wearing that ridiculous outfit? Because 'Gilbert' told you to?"

The little boy flinched back at this. "What are you talking about! _You're _the one wearing the ridiculous outfit you English jerk!" He pulled down on his hat, which believe it or not had a little demon-like face decorating the side, along with the sewn on horns.

"Sure. I'm sure _my _outfit is the weird one here in London." He replied. "Now seriously, where are your parents? Guardians? Siblings?" Arthur shot a look around the small shop but found nobody. "Are you lost?"

The boy snorted. "I'm not lost. I'm just _late._" Arthur rolled his eyes at this. "Besides, my guardian isn't here. Gilbert told me to not come back until I finished, but I haven't yet."

"Finished _what?_" Arthur asked exasperatedly. He rubbed his temples, this boy he didn't even know was really starting to get on his nerves.

"My job." The boy said haughtily. "Peter never quits until he finishes a job- and not just because Gilbert told him not to." Arthur perked at this. Peter, at least they were getting somewhere. He knew the boy's name now.

"Well Peter, Gilbert was probably joking. If he's your guardian than surely he didn't want you to run off and get lost. You could get hurt out here." Arthur meant it too. No matter how annoying this boy was, he felt somewhat responsible for him, and didn't want to see him get hurt or worse in this city.

"Hey Arthur! Quit talking to yourself." Anna called jokingly from the counter where she and William were checking out. She giggled as William rolled his eyes.

"I'm not-" He started but trailed off when he looked over where Peter should have been. Instead, he found himself staring at air. "But-" He gasped. He looked around quickly, but saw no hint of the small blonde-haired boy. When had he disappeared? Arthur blinked slowly. Maybe he was going crazy, how else could he explain away the oddly dressed boy who apparently now had vanishing skills.

Anna giggled some more at Arthur's confused look. "Not already going crazy are you old man?" She asked, repeating Arthur's thoughts. Arthur shook his head and smiled at his sister.

"Of course not." He replied. "Besides, if I'm an old man you're an old maid." He teased, receiving the expected pout from his sister.

"Am not. I'm going to be the most beautiful maiden at the ball." She mocked in a high-pitched voice. "Especially with the dress you picked out."

Arthur smiled. He turned as he heard William chuckle. "You better be, that was a pretty penny. The yellow dress was much less expensive."

"But I didn't want that one." Anna said as the three of them left the shop, door closing behind them with distinct cling of a bell. "This one is much better."

William rolled his eyes. Arthur was about to brag more about how he had picked the dress when movement caught the corner of his eye. It was Peter, the small boy was trapped in an alleyway. Arthur's eyes widened as he saw that the boy was being backed into a corner by a few, much larger men. The small boy trembled slightly and prattled on about 'was it too late?'.

"Excuse me." Arthur said to his sister abruptly. She started slightly as her brother left her side and ran off. "I'll meet up with you."

"Ah- Arthur!" She called, but she quickly lost him in the crowded streets.

William crinkled his brow, but tugged at his sister. He couldn't let her run off in the streets, after all she was only sixteen. "He said he'll catch up. Come on, let's get home before it starts raining."

Anna frowned in the direction her brother had run off, but slowly allowed herself to be pulled away. Arthur would catch up, he was always rational. He would know to not get into trouble, she rationalized, before she turned away and leaving Arthur.

* * *

"I didn't mean to be so late!" Peter yelled. "My watch broke! This place makes me so disoriented! The longer I stay here the more the colors blur. I'm so confused." He shook, these men weren't listening.

"Look little boy, just give us your stuff and we'll let you go." He said, shoving Peter. The second man, more like a teenager, pulled at the chain at Peter's side.

"No! You can't have it!" He cried, pulling back on his pocket watch. "It's broken! Gilbert has to fix it! Why can't I stop you!"

"This could have been easy..." Growled the first man again. "Stupid rich little prat." He pulled back an arm and aimed at Peter. The small boy flinched and covered his face.

"Stop it!" Arthur called from behind the three men. He grabbed onto the man's hand, preventing him from striking the small boy. "Seriously! This is uncalled for."

Peter looked up at Arthur, trembling lips quickly breaking into a small smile.

"Uncalled for?" The man snarled, turning on Arthur. "The puny boy won't hand over the watch. He doesn't need it, from the looks of him he gets whatever he wants. If he's going to be stubborn then he deserves a slap."

Arthur didn't know when he had started thinking differently, but he realized that he had thought very similar to this man when he had first run into Peter. When Arthur had seen the boy in his expensive clothes and with his silver watch he had felt the same anger. Why should some small boy have what he couldn't even dream of. Looking at him now though, Arthur only saw the injustice in this situation. Even if the boy was rich, he didn't deserve to be prejudiced against for it any more than Arthur deserved the glares he received for his shoddy clothes.

Besides, Arthur had a strong urge to protect this boy- he reminded him a lot of how he might have been as a child in a different lifetime.

"Let him go." Arthur replied coldly. "Obviously the boy cares for the watch. Besides you have no right to it. That's stealing, and punishable by the law." He said, giving the three men a glare.

Really, they should have just jumped him and mugged him along with Peter, it wouldn't have been that hard, but something about the fire this man was emanating frightened the men. They exchanged a nervous glance before the third one finally spoke up.

"Well at least give us something to go. We need to eat too." Arthur flinched at this as he turned to face the man. He suddenly realized they were a lot younger than they had appeared at first. The first man was maybe twenty, while the other two seemed a lot more like they were in their teens. It didn't give them the right to beat up on someone smaller than them, but maybe they weren't all that despicable, just desperate.

Arthur sighed sadly and pulled out what little money he had in his pocket. It wasn't a lot, maybe enough to buy a loaf of bread, but the three men perked up none the less. Arthur was reminded that maybe he didn't have it so bad, at least he had thin stew waiting for him at home.

He handed the money to the men and watched as they thanked him and ran away quickly, not wanting to risk Arthur changing his mind. Arthur gazed longingly as the money he had been saving ran away with them. He turned to Peter, hoping the boy hadn't disappeared again. At least those three men had seen him, so Arthur wasn't crazy after all.

Peter was standing, staring at Arthur with gleaming eyes. "That was amazing!" He yelled, practically dancing. Arthur gave a small smile at the young man. "I was a little worried! Especially after you acted like such an English jerk. But I was wrong about you! You'll beamazing."

Arthur's grin faded and he raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean? Are you rambling again? You really _must _let me help you find your guardian this time, _I told you_ you were in danger."

The boy just ignored him. "You were so brave! I couldn't do anything because this place is stupid, but you came and rescued me. And even then! You weren't just brave, you were understanding and forgiving and generous." He grinned widely. "Yup, I was wrong. Even after _I _acted like a jerk, not an English one thank goodness, but still."

"Peter." Arthur sighed, feeling a headache coming on. "Please, where do you live? Where is 'Gilbert' anyway, I can't leave you alone in the city again, you might get hurt."

Arthur got a sinking feeling from the mischievous grin that crossed over Peter's face. "Then don't." He said almost evilly before dashing off suddenly.

Arthur cursed and dashed after the boy. Where did he think he was going? "I have a plan! I may be good, but I'm still a Joker." Peter called back cryptically after Arthur asked said question.

"When I catch you I swear-!" Arthur snarled, turning a sharp corner after the boy. He was tired, as Peter had been running for a good five minutes, not slowing while Arthur tailed him "You need to-!"

Peter was gone. Arthur gaped as he took in the empty courtyard in front of him. He walked forward slowly. "Bloody hell!" He yelled as he searched around the small garden for the boy. He stopped when he heard a giggle.

"Better late than never!" Peter's voice trailed from around a large tree trunk. Arthur frowned, he'd already checked there. He slowly crept around the tree, hoping to surprise Peter and catch him. He was disappointed when he reached the other side and found no sight of Peter. He stopped however when he spotted a large hole at the base of the large oak. He recoiled. That had most certainly not been there when Arthur had entered the courtyard. In fact...

Arthur spun, _really _taking in the courtyard. It was much too large and luxurious to be in London. He gasped as he realized he'd turned the corner of a dirty city street and ended up _here. _That couldn't be right. How had he done that?

In fact the city didn't even seem to _be _there anymore. The world was blurred around the edges of the courtyard.

"Oh for goodness sake just go _down._" Peter's voice called and Arthur felt himself being pushed. He tried to regain his balance, but found himself tumbling headfirst into the large hole in the base of the tree trunk. He yelped as the darkness engulfed him.

"Don't worry!" He heard Peter's voice call from somewhere vaguely upwards. "You'll be a great Alice."

* * *

**Characters-**

**Alistair- Scotland**

**William- Wales**

**The Twins- North Ireland and Ireland**

**Anna- Kind of fem!England I guess? (Couldn't use 'Alice' because of the story.)**

* * *

**For anyone wondering, Peter is the White Rabbit. And poor Arthur is Alice. Pffftt. Wait til he hears that.**

**Comments please? I'll probably continue because I love Cardverse so much, heh heh.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two, yay! :D**

**Thank you to all of you who followed, I hope you like the story.**

* * *

Whatever you may have heard, the fall down the rabbit hole was _not _a pleasant experience. There was no drifting through the air. In fact, after a few seconds of spinning through the pitch black passage, Arthur felt the back of his head collide painfully with the side of the tunnel. Stars flashed in front of his eyes and he tried his best to stay conscious. His efforts proved useless as the already dim tunnel grew even more faint and darkness edged in on the edge of his vision.

Arthur didn't even bother trying to sort out his new surrounds, he just accepted the new occurrence as his eyes flicked shut and he went limp.

_That _was when the tunnel decided to kick in with the gravity-slowing magic.

* * *

Arthur woke with a groan. His eyes shuttered open, though he quickly shut them again as bright sunlight assaulted his eyes. He tried to move, but gasped at a sharp pain in the back of his neck. He reached back to rub at it, but stopped as a headache washed over him in a giant wave.

Arthur decided maybe he'd lie there for a bit.

He cautiously opened one eye again, and found the sunlight wasn't as unbearable as it had been at first. He looked around. He was lying in the middle of a giant hollowed out tree trunk. At least, he assumed it was a tree- on a second look the 'tree' seemed to be made of some sort of mineral. He sat up slowly, rubbing a hand on the smooth surface he was sitting on. Maybe it was petrified wood? That seemed like a likely explanation. The inside walls of the 'tree' stretched up above him, ending at a definite, if faraway point.

Arthur squinted. Hadn't he fallen? But as hard as he looked, the 'tree' had a ceiling.

"How wonderful." Arthur mumbled, having given up at trying to give reason to his predicament. He glared at the light that fell on his face. Even though he was inside a structure, a large open entrance-way stood before him, allowing the light to alight the insides of the 'tree'. Quaintly enough, the light that was cast from the doorway ended neatly on Arthur, making sure to illuminate the ground around the young man.

He stood up shakily and winced at the pain on the back of his head. He walked to the opening to the outside and peered out. He blinked in surprise.

His first observation was that everything was so... _blue. _The trees, the flowers, the bushes- all different shades of blue. It didn't look very natural, in fact it looked like someone had up and decided to take all the shades of green in the world and cut them out, replacing them with blue.

Well, except for the grass- that was still green luckily.

Arthur stepped outside slowly, not sure where he was. It was like nothing he'd ever seen before, the trees and flowers were definitely not from England. He stopped and stared at a particular bush that was blue with white polka-dots speckling it's leaves.

Walking into a large clearing, Arthur stopped and pondered what exactly he should _do_. He was obviously lost and alone in a strange, unknown place. He bit his lip and crinkled his brow, he had no experience surviving in _England's _wilderness- how was he supposed to deal with this madness? He decided that since no one would be looking for him, he should keep moving. He knew that usually the best way to be found was to stand still, but who was searching for him here?

He wandered the woods for a good chunk of the afternoon, gawking at the sights he saw. He'd spotted butterflies with strange black and white patterns on their wings, flowers that opened into the semblance of a clock, and birds with neon colored feathers and sweet songs. He began to smile slightly, despite being aggravated at being quite literally pushed into this situation. The world was beautiful here, wherever _here _was.

Arthur made a face at the memory of arms shoving him. He hoped he ran into Peter again, just so he could give the kid a piece of his mind. Who did that sort of thing? And, more importantly, what _was _Peter? Either Arthur had hit his head a bit too hard, was going crazy, or Peter was the real deal. Arthur had no clue what that entailed, but obviously something was going on.

He had ruled out that maybe he was dreaming, his head ached far too much for that... but still, maybe hallucination was still an option.

He sighed and sat down at the base of a large, palm-like tree in the center of a clearing. He rubbed at his eyes, it was getting late and the sun was setting. He really didn't want to be left out in this forest at night.

"Are you seriously lost?" A voice called out from the trees, causing Arthur to jump and search frantically.

"Hello?" He called, looking for the source of the voice.

"'Hello', 'Farewell', whatever." The voice answered back before Arthur finally caught sight of a pair of red eyes in the forest just out of the reach of the already fading light. He ran towards the figure, but when he arrived at the spot no one was there.

"Hello?" He asked again hesitantly. "I actually am lost, could you help?"

"Why should I? I though 'Alice' knew 'Wonderland'." The voice snickered. Arthur spun again, and glared at a lone bright white smile at the other end of the clearing. He stood where he was and squinted, vaguely making out the faded man that surrounded the clear smile and eyes.

"I have no idea what this 'Alice' business you're talking about is." He said, moving forward slowly as if to not scare the man away. "I really _could _use some directions. Where am I?"

"Well I'd say 'Wonderland'," The man chuckled, winking at him. "But you seem like you're not all that fun." The man stepped into the clearing, suddenly becoming more solid looking. "_Technically _you're in Cards."

"Wonderland? Cards? What..." Arthur repeated, confused. "Are you pulling my leg or what?" He looked at the exotic looking flora around him and wondered briefly if 'Wonderland' was so far fetched.

"Wow you're kind of in over your head aren't you?" The man asked, tilting his head. Arthur just glared at the silver-haired man. "Well you'll learn fast, you'll have to."

Arthur was distracted as he noticed something. He leaned to the side slightly and gawked at what he saw. A tail waved around slowly behind the man, flicking suddenly this way or that every few seconds. The slender black tail even ended in an arrowhead-like point.

"Face is up here." The man said, snapping his fingers in front of Arthur's face, making him jump.

"Does everyone here have..." He trailed off, squinting at the odd tufts of hair on his head that seemingly resembled horns... or ears.

"No. Just Peter and I." The man sighed rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.

"Peter!" Arthur exclaimed, jumping. "He's the one who sent me down here! Why'd he do that?" Arthur seemingly flipped a switch from bemused curiosity to agitated anger. "Who are you?"

"Yes. Because. Gilbert." The man answered shortly. "Look didn't you need something?"

"Because is not a proper answer!" Arthur fumed, but his eyes widened as Gilbert began to fade. "Wait!" He cried, reaching forward to grab the man and finding his arms passing through thin air. "Come back! I need directions!"

"Well why didn't you say so?" A voice spoke near his ear, causing him to hiss and flinch away.

"I did! And quit doing that." He scowled, spinning to find the man standing behind him now. He crossed his arms. "...well?"

Gilbert leaned back on his heels and raised an eyebrow. "Well what?"

"Well can I have some _damn directions _already?" He yelled exasperatedly at the silver-haired man.

"Well where do you want to go? Duh." He rolled his eyes. "I can't just read your mind."

Arthur paused at this. "I don't know." He mused. "I have no idea where I am, so how am I supposed to know where I want to go. I want to go... I don't know _somewhere._" He muttered.

Gilbert sighed and held up a hand. "Well then you don't need directions. It doesn't matter where you go right? You'll get somewhere."

Arthur glared. "It most certainly _does. _I don't want to be wandering around here forever! I have to get home."

Gilbert's tail stopped mid-wag. He looked at Arthur for a second before shrugging. The man wasn't getting out of Cards that easily, but he didn't need to be the one to break that to him. "Well you can't wander forever. You'll get _somewhere _if you keep walking. And if you only want to get somewhere than my job is done."

Arthur pulled at his hair, this man was so frustrating. "Fine! Where should I go? You know about this place right?"

"What do you want to _do._" Gilbert asked, equally as frustrated. "I can't tell you where to go if you don't know what you want. _Mein gott _man, seriously."

"I want to talk to an actual _sane _person." Arthur said, rubbing at his temples. He jumped as the man in front of him burst out laughing.

"Oh, _good luck _with that buddy. I think your definition of sane and ours are two completely different things." He wiped at his watering eyes. "But anyway, you want people yes? I can point you towards people."

"Well of course I 'want people' as you so elegantly put it. I've been wandering the woods for a good few hours and it's getting dark." Arthur tapped his foot impatiently. At least they were starting to get somewhere in their conversation, even if they had talked in circles for a good few minutes.

"Well..." Gilbert lifted a hand to his chin. "Spades Castle is that way." He said, pointing. "That's where most the nobles for Spades live. You can bypass it and head to the Tea Party, but that's another good day's journey in-" He shifted his finger slightly. "-that direction, and it's almost all the way to Clubs."

Arthur sighed at the prospect of having to deal with 'nobles'. He never had been fond of high society, even if it _was _just because he was a bit bitter about his childhood.

"I _do _highly suggest going to Spades Castle though." Gilbert finished. "They'll fill you in on what you need to know even if they're a bit..." He trailed off. "Hmm. Actually, maybe you should trek to Hearts, you seem like a Hearts person to me. Did you fall into Hearts?"

Arthur felt his shoulders slump. "What?" He sighed exhaustively.

"Was everything red where you came out?" Gilbert responded, full of curiosity and somewhat skeptical.

"No, it was most definitely blue." Arthur replied. He made a circular motion with his hand. "Can you please hurry this up?"

"Fine, fine, sheesh. Just didn't peg you as a Blue is all." Gilbert waved his hand dismissively and rolled his eyes. "Though I guess it makes sense... kinda. Hearts actually has a full deck- well the top of it anyway."

"That's what Peter said." Arthur mumbled. "Could you stop talking nonsense and just tell me how to get to this castle."

Gilbert snorted and pointed again. "Just walk that way until you start seeing a small town. It'll get more and more populated until you reach the city center. That's where the castle will be. Ask for Yao. _Trust me. _You do _not _want to deal with Alfred right off the bat. I love the guy and all, he's one of the few that put up with Peter and I, but... he's a little- ah... much." Gilbert smirked at this, sending an almost evil look Arthur's way. Arthur shivered at the barely contained menacing glee in the man's smile.

"Okay." Arthur nodded, slowly inching away from the man who was now rubbing his hands together. "I'll just go do that then. Thank you."

"Oh this will be _fun._" Gilbert giggled as Arthur made a quick escape. He gave the very forest around him a thumbs up. "Nice choice there. I'm a little concerned on your judgment- BUT I will make an exception. Just cuz that will be _entertaining _to watch." His body started slowly fading out as he said these words. First the bottom of his feet disappeared, then his legs. The transparent force started eating away at his hand as it reached his mid-torso. It crawled up him until all that was left was his wide smile and red eyes. These too disappeared with a blink, leaving the clearing empty.

* * *

Arthur growled as a branch snapped back and hit him in the face. He shoved away at the foliage and stumbled his way through the forest.

He knew he shouldn't have listened to Gilbert, he was finding himself nowhere. Well, he supposed he was _technically _somewhere, but that wasn't the point. Maybe he should have gone the other way- to where the 'Tea Party' had been. It may have been farther according to Gilbert, but Arthur could really go for a cup of tea right now.

He gasped as he shoved his way through a particularly thick group of bushes and suddenly found no resistance. He stumbled forward before catching himself and looking around. The forest had ended abruptly, leaving Arthur standing on a small dirt road leading into what looked like a farm town.

"Finally!" He cried, actually jumping in joy. It was dark now, and he'd been walking through that dratted blue forest for another good hour. He ran down the dirt road towards the houses.

Luckily for Arthur's sanity, all the houses were normal brown or gray- no more _blue._

He slowed as he entered the small town. He looked down at his clothes and suddenly became nervous. If Peter and Gilbert were anything to judge from, he would be highly out of place in this fanatic world. How would normal people react? Or were Peter and Gilbert considered normal? His head hurt, and he decided to play it safe.

Instead of knocking on any doors he simply continued forward on the road. Gilbert had told him to go to the castle and ask for Yao, and that was what he would do. Apparently Gilbert _had _given him correct directions. He wouldn't risk taking any chances, he better listen to a 'native' of this place strictly.

He walked down the road for a bit, watching as the population slowly grew around him. He ducked his head when he saw a few people watching him from inside a house. He felt stares on him, but nobody tried to jump him, so he assumed he was at least tolerated by these people.

As the town quickly grew into a city (in fact it almost abruptly changed into a city all at once) the streets still remained mostly empty. It must have been almost midnight at the least, so it made sense. Still, Arthur couldn't help the nervous feeling growing in the pit of his stomach.

As he reached the center, the few people who were out began looking at him. He frowned. It wasn't like the stares he'd received in London. They may have been staring at his clothes, but they weren't focusing on how shabby they might be, they were focusing on how _different _they were. These people were all dressed much more simply than Peter or Gilbert, but they were still a far cry from the clothes from England. Even their houses and architecture was something Arthur had never seen before.

He gulped as he spotted large open gates in the distance. How did he even know they'd let him in the castle? All he had to go on was Gilbert's words. He walked down the last stretch down the paved street to the gates and paused as the guards stationed there gave him a look.

"Ah- Can I..." He began before taking a deep breath and starting over. "May I request to see Yao?" He asked. He was aware that this was literally all he had to go on. He didn't even know who this 'Yao' was or why he needed to see him. "Gilbert sent me." He added, a bit weaker.

The two guards exchanged a look, then nodded. The one ran inside while the other gave Arthur a reassuring smile.

"Gilbert huh? Got caught up with the Jokers? Tough luck." He said, leaning back.

"So they're like that to everyone right?" He asked cautiously.

"Oh yes. It's practically their job to make things difficult for everyone else, especially the other Cards." He grinned slightly at this. "Our King houses them sometimes and it the job here gets pretty hard."

Arthur nodded, still not quite understanding. "So, this is... Spades?" He asked, trying desperately to clarify a few points with this reasonable sounding man before having to talk to the nobles.

He raised an eyebrow. "Yikes. When did you get here? Yeah, this is Spades- best kingdom around, no matter what those Clubs or Diamonds will tell you."

Arthur crinkled is nose in concentration. "It's all suits." He said. "Spades, Clubs, Diamonds, Hearts..."

"There you go! You've got the basics already! I'm sure you'll catch on quick." The man nodded.

Arthur just shook his head. Why did this man act like this all made perfect sense? It was madness! Though he did suppose it would make sense to someone who lived here.

He didn't know when he had just accepted this new world as reality, but if he hadn't before he found himself resigned to it now.

"Oh- they're back." The guard said as his fellow guard came back, followed by another man. Arthur smiled nervously as the second man, Yao he presumed, charged up to him.

"You!" He said, sleeves falling over his hands that he waved frantically waved at Arthur. "You."

Arthur simply remained quiet as the man dropped his chin to his hand and stared at him for a second. The man's outfit was a mixture of blues and creams, with the symbol of a spade printed on his coat and hat. Said hat was hanging at a precarious angle off his head, threatening to jump ship and the man's earlier erratic motions- Arthur recognized it as a vaguely Oriental style hat. Yao used his free hand to brush back the neon blue feather that had fallen into his face from his hat.

"Okay." Yao said finally, standing up straight and brushing down his clothes. "Okay. I can deal with this. I suppose I'll just postpone the trip to Diamonds. I'll need to push back the diplomats from Clubs... Oh-  
and the council was supposed to meet in the morning. I'll have to let the court know we can't do that. Alfred will want know- Oh goodness Alfred he'll-" The calm demeanor that the man had built up slowly crumbled as he went on. He began tugging nervously on his ponytail. "And the Jokers! The Jokers will surely turn up without notice, meaning the castle will be in turmoil..." The man dropped his head to his hands, mumbling, "Why me?"

"Excuse me?" Arthur asked nervously. He leaned away from the growingly frantic man. "I don't mean to cause trouble, I just want to know what's going on."

Yao looked up as if suddenly realizing Arthur could talk too. "I apologize." He corrected himself quickly and bowed slightly. "I am Yao, Jack of Spades."

Arthur started at the man's sudden formalness. "Ah- Arthur Kirkland." He replied quickly.

Yao nodded and grabbed onto Arthur's arm, pulling him inside the gates. He heard a "Good luck" chuckled at him as the guard waved goodbye to him. He nodded before he was whisked away.

The castle was larger than Arthur had seen at first. As they entered the entrance-way, Arthur stared at the vaulting ceilings and extravagant blue tiles. He saw servants running around and chattering happily. They all stopped and stared as Yao dragged Arthur through the halls. Arthur felt his cheeks pinken slightly as maids giggled at him. He heard faint whispers, but he couldn't quite catch any.

They finally reached a large library and Yao dragged him over and forced him into a seat.

"What have you gotten so far?" He asked, pulling a chair over and leaning forward, examining Arthur.

"Uhm... well I got that there are four kingdoms and that there are Jokers... and something about cards and decks?" He trailed off, a bit embarrassed at his lack of knowledge.

Yao pursed his lips before standing up and running over to the door. Arthur began to stand up before Yao waved him back down. He stuck his head out the door and gestured at a maid. He quickly whispered something to her and she nodded. Arthur shifted as Yao walked over and sat back down.

"Okay." He sighed, getting comfortable. "This may take a while." Arthur nodded for the man to continue.

"You are in Cards. I don't know much about where you're from- but it's much different here. There are four kingdoms, Spades, Hearts, Diamonds and Clubs." He pointed to himself. "I am Wang Yao, or Yao, and I am the Jack of Spades. Spades also has a King, Alfred Jones. The other kingdoms have a mixture of Kings, Queens and Jacks. You are from..."

"England." Arthur supplied helpfully.

Yao simply made a face. "I have no idea where or what that is." He said tiredly. "All I know is you are an 'Alice'."

"What's with this 'Alice' business?" Arthur snapped, he meant to be polite, he really did, but this whole concern was really starting to get to him. It wasn't just the fact that everyone was calling him by a woman's name either, it was also the fact that everyone knew something about _him _that apparently he didn't. It was like that terrible feeling when others are laughing about an inside joke they would never tell you about- except that this joke was about him.

"You are an 'Alice'." Yao replied simply. "You came to Cards from elsewhere, yes? That makes you an 'Alice'. Easy enough to understand."

Arthur furrowed his brow. "Okay, but what does that mean?"

Yao shrugged. "I don't quite know. It's different every time I suppose. I've never met one." He leveled his gaze on Arthur. "I'm afraid people will have... expectations... of you." He said cryptically, looking away from Arthur. "Being an 'Alice' you... will be expected to act a certain way."

"Yes?" Arthur prompted, not liking the sound of these 'expectations'.

Yao smiled brightly. "It's nothing to worry about. I'm sure you'll hear about it tomorrow. For now though, aren't you tired? It's past midnight. I had a servant prepare you a room and clothes."

Arthur realized what Yao had been doing when he had spoken to the maid. He didn't really like the idea of being left in the dark... Okay he didn't like the idea _at all- _but what could he really do. He was in a _palace _for goodness sake, having a room of his own prepared for him. He'd grown up in a cramped house for most of his life, this was a dream come true. He had been trudging through these people's odd wilderness for the majority of the day too, so perhaps it would be okay to be left in the dark for a night if it meant he could sleep in a luxurious bed- he was exhausted. He finally nodded slightly.

Yao nodded back and stood up, walking over to the door. He quickly grabbed a maid that was walking by and motioned to Arthur. She smiled brightly and started leading the way to Arthur's room. She chattered a bit, going on about how exciting things had just become because of him. Arthur simply nodded as they rounded corner after corner, and he quickly became disoriented.

"Diamonds will be so mad too!" She tittered as she pulled open a large door for Arthur. "After all you came to Spades! Luckily we're on decent terms with them though. The poor King will probably have to deal with their King's whining for a bit though. Oh-! Not that King Francis is bad or anything! He's quite nice... Maybe I should stop..."

Arthur just humored her, smiling. He honestly had no clue what was coming out of this girl's mouth.

"Oh, and please stay up here until someone comes to retrieve you." She said, her chatting immediately turning serious. "Not many people know you're here. Luckily you came in the night and not many commanders saw you. It's supposed to be a secret for a while so as not to cause chaos. Food will be brought up to you in the morning."

Arthur glanced over as the maid ducked out of the room and left him alone in the large empty room. He looked down at his dirty clothes and then over to the blue clothes laid out on the bed. He walked over and picked up a pair of silk nightclothes._ Silk_.

He saw that there was an attached bathroom, and peered in to see that there was even a bath drawn. Arthur sighed in contentment, thinking that maybe this place wasn't so bad after all.

After bathing and changing into the luxuriant garments that had been given to him,  
Arthur laid down in the large bed. His eyes flickered shut immediately and he quickly began drifting off to sleep. Everything was so soft and plush, Arthur really didn't stand a chance.

As his mind wandered off, he wondered what he would face the next day. Everyone he met had acted kind of strange, but then again this was a different world after all.

Yao had seemed normal, maybe he wouldn't have to deal with anymore people like Gilbert or Peter.

Or maybe he'd have to deal with worse ones. He shivered and hoped not.

Arthur decided that he really couldn't keep the mental conversation up for another second. The pain on the back of his head that he had felt all day faded as he smiled lazily and fell asleep.

* * *

**This is where I add interesting commentary right? :I**

**Okay- heads up. Not all of the countries have full King-Queen-Jack royalty. So that's a thing. I'll elaborate more on that next chapter.**

**Gilbert is the Cheshire Cat! I thought it was fitting for his character- and the fact that he's a Joker. However, the Kings-Queens-Jacks will not be characters from Alice in Wonderland, so Yao is no one. There is the Tea Party though, which will be fun eventually.**

**And 'Alice' is more of a title than anything. Anyone who comes from the 'real world' or Earth into Cards is considered an 'Alice'. There are _not _a lot of them, pretty much one every century or so, and what happens with them is different each time. Arthur is the first 'Alice' in a long time, and the definitely the first one for Spades in a long time. And yes, it does matter what Kingdom you fall into- if only a bit. Technically someone can get to Cards on their own, but it's much more common (and we're still talking _decades _here) for a Joker to invite/trick someone there. Lucky Arthur got pushed.**

**Comments? Thank you for reading- Dawn. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**You can thank the cold for this chapter. Haha, a snowstorm hit my home two days ago and knocked out my heating and internet. So pretty much I had nothing to distract me from writing. XD**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter. ^_^**

* * *

That night, Arthur's dreams were wandering. His mind seemed to be a confusing mess of strange imagery. Oddly enough, the main focus of his dreams was a mix between strange fairytale creatures and exotic flora. When his mind finally drifted back from the ocean that was sleep, Arthur was left wondering if this strange place had somehow affected his subconscious.

The next logical thought, which perhaps should have been his first, was remembering that yes, in fact, he was in some strange place. In the moments when his mind was still half-asleep, he'd wondered if he had really gone through the events that his mind had categorized as 'yesterday', or if it had simply been part of the dream he had been absorbed in moments before.

The idea, or maybe it was just a hope, vanished when he became fully aware of the soft fabric that he was curled up in. He ran a hand along it, still refusing to open his eyes, and grasped it. They certainly weren't his sheets, if he ever decided to open his eyes he would be able to confirm that they were in fact the silken sheets he had collapsed into the previous night.

He groaned, turning slightly. Arthur had held on to some small hope that the crazy events of the past day had been a dream, but the sheets, along with a throbbing in his head, told him otherwise.

He sighed, rubbing at his eyes as he finally gave up and he realized that more sleep was merely out of his reach. He cracked one eye open, taking in the room around him. It was much brighter than it had been last night, and this allowed Arthur to take in the room more clearly. His eyes scanned around the navy room, stopping occasionally on some of the more curious parts of the room. A large wardrobe stood opposite the foot of his bed, leaning against the wall next to the door that Arthur had found led to the private bathroom. Farther down the same wall, a large plant sat in the corner next to the window. It appeared to be the same kind that Arthur had spotted earlier, with leaves shaped oddly like hearts.

"Or spades," Arthur mumbled.

A long, jeweled mirror finally caught his attention as he began moving. It extended from the ground up, and was placed thoughtfully on the second door in the room. Arthur yawned as he sat up on the bed and stretched his arms above his head. He blinked lazily at the mirror and walked over to it.

It was then that he truly took in the clothes he was wearing. He pulled absently at the sleeves of his nightclothes, examining the detailed embroidery. It was far more expensive then anything he had ever worn before, and it was only nightclothes. It had been dark when he had seen Yao in his over-the-top outfit. He wondered that now, in the light, if he took a closer look at it just how costly it would seem.

_Not like they would care._ Arthur thought, a bit bitterly. He yanked on the doorknob that opened the door the mirror had been placed on- sticking his head inside the large empty closet. He glared and looked over to the large wardrobe on the opposite side of the blue room. Why would there be both a closet and wardrobe in the same room? And a private bathroom to boot? It was just a guest room after all- though perhaps all of the rooms were luxurious here.

Arthur closed the door with a little more care than he had opened it with and walked over to the wardrobe. He opened this, expecting to find it similarly empty to the closet. However, as opposed to the closet, a few garments were hung up. They swayed slightly at the rush of air as Arthur pulled open the door.

He took the end of one of the sleeves on a large coat and pulled it towards him to examine; it looked similar to a trench coat. It was colored deep navy blue, similar to what every other single thing seemed to be in this ridiculous place, and had small spade symbols embroidered around the seams.

"They really are conceited here aren't they," he scoffed. He brushed aside the coat and quickly took in the rest of the wardrobe. It took him only a few seconds to realize that there was only one outfit in it. Was it left there for him?

He left the wardrobe, closing the door, but leaving it slightly cracked. He certainly didn't want to wear it if it wasn't for him- he didn't really want to wear it at all. It all was far too much for Arthur to handle at the moment. He peaked into the bathroom, expecting to find his normal clothes where he had left them, folded up neatly on the marble counter. To his dismay, they were nowhere to be found.

Arthur sighed and stared at the empty spot on the counter. He finally moved and closed the door, pulling it shut with a slam. He stood there for a moment, thinking.

The maid had said something about bringing him up breakfast hadn't she? He didn't want to bother anyone, but he had also been ordered to remain in this room. He glared and spun towards the one window in the area. He walked over and pulled aside the thin curtains. So far, they had simply been letting the light through, allowing Arthur to know it was day. However when Arthur pulled the curtains back, he realized that the sun was still hanging just above the horizon. He realized that his nature of waking up before dawn had probably affected his sleep cycle, and caused him to wake up before breakfast would be served here.

He frowned and walked back over to the bed he had slept in the night before. He didn't feel particularly sleepy, but what was there to do besides sleep more until someone came to get him? Arthur didn't really want to remain in the room, but he was more worried about how these strange people would react if he disobeyed and left. If he ran into any more people like Gilbert...

He let out a breath and sat back down on the bed. He lowered his eyes and pulled the sheets back around him. They really were so soft, and smelled faintly like lavender- a detail he hadn't noticed in his half asleep state. He curled back up, and as soon as his head hit the pillow he realized just how exhausted he still was. His eyes flickered shut again, and he relaxed. Maybe he _could_ get more sleep.

This was immediately compromised when the door leading to the hallway opened inwards violently. It hit the wall with a bang.

Arthur's heart jumped. He yelped and backed up frantically- falling off the opposite side of the bed in a heap and dragging the blankets down to the ground with him.

"What was that for?" A unfamiliar voice called. A man rushed in from the doorway. He stopped at the edge of the large bed and leaned over to look down at Arthur tangled up on the floor.

"I- w- what?" Arthur said, hand resting on his chest, feeling his speeding heart-beat. "Who are you? Why are you even in here?"

The man blinked at him, blue eyes shining. Suddenly a wide grin broke across his face. "I brought you breakfast! Yao was going to but I heard from some maids and went to the kitchen before he could. He wouldn't tell me why he canceled the meeting but, like I said, I heard some maids talking and-"

Arthur's brow furrowed as the man spoke in a fast, unrelenting pace. He leaned slightly to see that the man had in fact walked in with a tray, but had dumped said tray of food onto the nightstand besides the bed as soon as he had spotted Arthur. Arthur couldn't quite distinguish certain words from the others as the man babbled on and on, his words running together.

"Slow down," Arthur yelled as he tried to work his way out of the tangled mess on the floor. "Who _are _you?"

The man paused in his ramblings. Before he'd been mainly talking to the air, but now he centered his focus on Arthur. "I'm Alfred F. Jones!" Arthur shied away as the man leaned farther over the bed, placing his hands on the middle and leaning over to get closer to him.

"Wonderful," Arthur muttered. His brain had just been getting settled back into a half-asleep state. He strained to remember where exactly he'd heard that name before.

"Well I'm glad you think so!" The man beamed, apparently unable to sense the sarcasm in Arthur's voice. "I've never met anyone like you before! Well of course I haven't- duh. But it's still so exciting! I'm just-"

"Please stop," Arthur cut in sharply. He rubbed at his temples and at the headache that was already beginning to form. "I haven't a clue what you're babbling about, and I'm still confused."

"Oh," the man- Alfred- stopped now. He tilted his head and looked at Arthur as he finally got to his feet. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Arthur said. His heart rate had finally slowed again, and his head was clearing.

He very nearly cursed when he remembered where he had heard the name Alfred before. Now, while Arthur was still not quite clear on what a 'jack' was or what that meant, he knew what a king happened to be very well and was suddenly worried about how he'd snapped at the man.

He froze, not knowing how to act.

"...well?" The man fidgeted and crossed his hands behind his back. His hair was ruffled and his clothes, while they seemed high-class, were slightly crinkled. Even his thin-rimmed glasses were tilted, not sitting quite straight on his face. In all he didn't paint a very 'kingly' picture. Once Arthur took a closer look, he even almost appeared to be younger than him.

"Yes?" Arthur asked.

"Well say something!" The man threw his hands up into the air in a sudden burst of movement, startling Arthur. "I mean _come on! _I'm going on maid-rumors here. Things never go well when I go on maid-rumors."

"I- What do you want me to say?" Arthur was feeling suddenly claustrophobic. Being trapped in this room had been bad enough when he had been expecting a quiet maid to bring him food. Suddenly, he was being thrown into an enclosed space with a king who didn't seem very king-like and being treated like he should know how to act.

He had grudgingly agreed to go to sleep last night on the expectation that when he woke up, he would be asking the questions, not being questioned.

"I don't know." The man was staring at Arthur now, eyes flashing. "What's your name? Where are you from? Do you like Spades? I don't know- things I'll need to know!"

Arthur began to pull at his sleeve absently. "Well I-"

"You know, I kind of expected a pretty lady," the man interrupted again. Arthur had to restrain himself from groaning out loud. He did let his shoulders drop, and looked at Alfred in exasperation. He hadn't been able to get a substantial word in this entire conversation, if you could even call it one.

"What?" He stared at the man in front of him, who was now rocking back and forth on his feet, hands resting in the pockets of his large blue coat. Nothing about him screamed 'King'; he wore no crown. His outfit was rather simple, consisting of brown slacks, a dark blue top over white shirt, and light blue coat that fell to his thighs. The only thing about the man that really suggested formalness was the blue tie, and even that was crooked. He paused in his moving.

"Oh- not that you aren't pretty. Just, well you're not really a lady." He said this in a rush, and then grinned yet again. Arthur squinted at the idiotic smile that was becoming a recurrence.

"Yes-"

"I was expecting someone more like Queen Elizaveta. Y'know, because Alice is a chick's name and all and because-"

"I was told 'Alice' was a _title._" Arthur growled, interrupting the other man for once. "It is _not _my name." The man blinked at him, as if waiting. "My name is _Arthur,_" he said at last as he rolled his eyes.

"Okay! Look we're getting somewhere!" Alfred clapped his hands and bounced a bit. Arthur stared, mouth hanging agape slightly. How was being snapped at 'getting somewhere'? The warnings he'd got about this man suddenly rushed back to him. 'Too much' was an accurate description.

"But yeah- Spades is okay right? You didn't run into any trouble or anything?" Arthur looked up and saw genuine concern in the man's sparkling azure eyes.

"No, I got lost in the forest, but some man named Gilbert pointed me here." Arthur waved his hand in dismissal.

"Wonderful." Alfred beamed. "I'm glad you like it-" Arthur resisted the urge to correct the man and tell him he never said such a thing.

"-since you're going to be Queen."

That caught his attention.

"What?" He jerked up from the slouch he had settled into when he had not quite been paying attention.

Alfred looked at him in confusion, not understanding the sudden, somewhat violent reaction.

"Uhm- Queen?"

"What _are _you talking about?" Arthur grit his teeth and began silently planning an escape route- obviously this man was crazy. It didn't help that Arthur had nowhere to run to, and to top it off he was still in the silken nightclothes. If only someone was around to talk some sense.

"Well your Alice-"

"_Arthur._"

"-yeah, yeah. Anyway, you're _an_ 'Alice', so you're royalty- Queen here." He shot Arthur a grin, acting like this should all make sense. "Which is really great, because Spades is the best place ever- trust me. And you came just in time too."

"Okay, slow down." Arthur held up is hands as if they would serve as a shield between him and the apparently demented king. "One, I _still _don't get it. Two, I am _not _a queen. Where did you even come up with that? I'm not a woman-"

"Queen Kiku's a man." Alfred's smile actually faltered, as if he had not been expecting resistance on Arthur's part- which for the most part he hadn't.

"_I_ _don't know who_-" He sighed. "You know what, I don't care. Where is Yao? I need to talk to someone sane."

Alfred furrowed his brow, smile finally dropping away. "I am sane- but if you want to talk to Yao I'll get him..." He tapped his fingers together, thinking, before he walked over to the door. "Wait here and- oh!"

Arthur watched as Alfred ran over to the wardrobe and yanked it open, revealing the outfit from earlier. He scooped up the fabric in his arms and dumped it on the bed. Arthur followed all this movement with his eyes.

"I'll be right back." The, very brief, melancholy that had affected the man was gone as he rushed to the door. "You can wear that."

With that, Alfred ran out the door and down the hall. Arthur walked over to the door slowly and watched as the man nearly ran into a maid carrying a large stack of clothes. She laughed as he kept running, but turned to face her, bowing his head slightly in apology.

"Look where you're going." She smiled as he turned and began running forwards again.

Arthur glared and closed the door before turning and resting his back on it. He rubbed at his head. Obviously there was some mistake. He didn't know what was going on, and he didn't like the feeling of it either.

Arthur's mind wandered as he stepped up to the outfit now sprawled over the bed. He scoffed before turning to where the now cooling food sat on the forgotten tray on the nightstand. He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled the tray into his lap. A small sigh escaped his lips as he spotted a tea cup sitting on the corner of his tray. He grasped the small cup and lifted it to his lips to take a sip.

Arthur hadn't realized just how hungry he had been- and felt a little guilty at the way he scarfed down the meal. He hadn't eaten since since he had come to Spades though, so the behavior was tolerable.

After he finished his breakfast, he finally looked over to the clothes laying beside him. He really didn't want to wear them, but it seemed as if he had no choice. He placed the empty tray on the nightstand and stood up.

Leaning over the bed, he grabbed the outfit and felt the fabric. It wasn't any kind of fabric he had worn before. It felt sturdy, yet surprisingly light.

He picked up the clothes and walked over to the bathroom, clicking the door shut behind him. He wouldn't be surprised if that obnoxious king would barge in without knocking, and he wasn't about to change out where he would come in from the hall to.

After changing, he examined himself in the bathroom mirror. He wouldn't admit to it later, but he did a small spin just to see how the coat flared out at his legs. The outfit fit surprisingly well, and even though this place was starting to change his mind, blue did actually happen to be a favorite color of Arthur's.

While the clothes had been easy enough to put on, he was left holding what appeared to be a white ribbon that he didn't know what to do with.

He shrugged and opened the door, stepping back into the bedroom. He nearly jumped as a knock sounded on the door as soon as he re-entered. So maybe the King did knock.

Arthur opened the door, hoping to see Yao. He jumped back slightly when Alfred pushed the door open with a little too much force.

"You're dressed!" He walked into the room like he owned the place. Which- well, which he did.

Arthur sighed in relief as Yao stepped in after the loud man, perhaps he would shed some light on the situation.

"Oh," Alfred said, looking at Arthur. He stepped forward and took the ribbon, which had still been hanging, useless, in Arthur's right hand.

"Hey-!" Arthur tried to protest, but stopped as the Alfred stepped close to him. "_Hey!_"

"Hold still," Alfred said as Arthur attempted to step away. He wrapped the large ribbon around the back of Arthur's neck, trapping Arthur in place and preventing any further attempts to step back. Alfred made a face in concentration as he pulled the ribbon around and tied a large bow with the ends. He stepped back and examined the bow, before leaning in once again and tugging at the edges to straighten it.

"Thank you?" Arthur said. He looked down at the bow now sitting at his collar, completing the outfit. Alfred nodded, smiling of course, before backing up to lean against the wall. Arthur's gaze followed him before he realized the man was actually willingly giving up the limelight to Yao.

Arthur spun to face the Oriental man standing near the doorway.

"Thank goodness, maybe you can explain what's going on?" Arthur was grasping at straws now. The man had avoided his questions before, hopefully he wouldn't do the same now.

Yao cleared his throat and shifted. "I am sorry- aru," he said finally, nervous verbal tick kicking in; he tugged at the end of his ponytail. "I had expected to be able to talk to you _before _you met the King."

Alfred simply grinned at the glare Yao shot him. He now had his hands shoved into his pockets again and one foot rested up against the wall, relaxed.

"Well you can talk to me now." Arthur curbed the sharp edge that wanted to work it's way into his voice, giving Yao a chance to explain.

"Yes... What did Alfred tell you again exactly?" Yao wrung his hands, fake smile plastered across his face.

"Well he said-"

"I told him he's Queen!" Alfred cut in.

"I am _not._" Arthur snapped back, not bothering to reign in his temper for the other man.

"Ayah." Yao dropped his head to his hands, hat falling off his head. He reacted quickly and snagged said hat out of the air before it could even think about falling to the ground. "Okay- Alfred."

"Yes?" The man perked up at his name, turning to look at Yao.

"Leave." Yao punctuated his word by bringing his head back up and pointing at the door.

"_What?_" Alfred gaped. Yao remained firm, even opening the door for the man.

"You have caused enough trouble already. Go... help the servants or something. It would be heroic." Alfred shifted hesitantly before walking slowly to the door.

"But Yao-" he began.

"No." Yao silenced him with another glare. Alfred pouted and, attitude changing dramatically, decided to storm out of the room and slam the door behind him.

"Thank goodness." Yao sighed, finally placing his hat back on his head. "That was easier than I thought it would be. Now why don't we-" He paused at the look Arthur was giving him.

"Okay, let me explain."

"Go ahead." Arthur said, tapping his foot impatiently.

Yao smiled nervously. "Remember those expectations I mentioned?"

Arthur's eyes widened. "Oh no. Please don't tell me he was serious. _You _can't be serious." Yao remained silent. "Oh you have _got _to be kidding me!"

"No, I'm sorry." Yao ceased in his nervous fidgeting and stood straight. "You have to understand, it is tradition in Cards-"

"No." Arthur brought his hands up in an X-shape in front of him, as if this could block out the others words. "No way."

Yao made a strained face. "That's what I was afraid of. Okay, how about this- we'll talk about this objectively."

Arthur sighed. "Okay. So, _hypothetically, _what the heck are you talking about."

"In Cards, it is tradition- more than tradition, it is more like an unwritten law- that anyone not from Cards, an outsider, is royalty. If an 'Alice' comes to a kingdom with unfinished royalty, then they will fill whatever spot is missing..." Yao began tapping his fingers together. "-hypothetically," he tagged onto the end.

Arthur shook his head and brought his hands to his face. "This isn't happening," he mumbled into his hands.

"I'm afraid it is," Yao replied. His eyes darted around the room before he walked closer to Arthur. "You really have no wish to be royalty?"

"I don't even know what the heck is going on or where I am!" Arthur looked up at Yao in desperation. "Why would I want to be a _queen _of somewhere I don't even know?"

Yao shrugged, not quite meeting Arthur's eyes. "I don't know, many jump at the prospect of being royalty." Arthur noticed how Yao tastefully avoided the term 'queen', as it seemed to trigger Arthur. "Though I suppose I only have a few people to go off of, since I have only been to so many coronations."

"Can't I just go home?"Arthur was on the edge of whining now- suppressing himself only because he was still determined to act like a gentleman, no matter what the situation. It was how he had brought himself up.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple." Yao began rubbing at _his _head now, exasperated. Arthur heard him mumble something along the lines of 'This job will be the end of me'...'aru'.

"Do I even want to ask why?" Arthur was leaning against one of the bedposts now, unwilling to hold up his own weight.

"It just isn't. Outsiders don't... leave." Yao gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm afraid you're stuck in Cards."

Arthur gave up and sat down on the edge of the bed. Yao tapped his foot before resting his hand on the doorknob.

"I can brief you on more of the history of Cards later... I'm just very busy now."

"Am I obligated to this now?" Arthur looked up at Yao, emerald eyes searching.

"What- oh. Technically no..." Yao lifted a hand to pull on the end of his ponytail again. "There's- well Cards hasn't had an outsider for a good century, and Spades hasn't had one for much longer. Spades would be more stable with a queen- people _expect_ you to be royalty." He suddenly cast Arthur a look. "However, there is nothing... binding you to Spades. Except the fact that you arrived specifically at Spades from elsewhere."

"So I'm don't _have _to do anything?" he asked, straightening up.

Yao stepped out into the hallway. "Not technically. However-" Yao gave a pitying smile. "-some people may say otherwise." He closed the door behind him, shutting out any reply Arthur may have given.

Arthur sighed and leaned back. What had he gotten himself into?

* * *

Arthur remained locked up in his room, pacing. It wasn't until a knock sounded on his door did he realize a substantial amount of time had passed.

He walked over and yanked the door open, ready to snap at the person on the other side. He strained in the sharp reply when a nervous girl greeted him.

"Oh, hello," he said, looking down at her.

"I have your lunch." She gave a small smile. "May I come in?"

"Of course," he mumbled, stepping back. She bustled into the room and placed the tray down, adeptly scooping up the empty tray that still sat on the nightstand.

She smiled and walked back to the door, blue skirts rustling around her as she moved. She neared the door before slowing.

"Is it true?" she asked shyly, turning to look at him. "I mean- if it's not a bother. Are you really from outside Cards?"

"Yes," Arthur responded after a second. He eyed her, warily.

"That's wonderful!" She curtseyed before continuing towards the door. "I hope you enjoy Spades."

Arthur wanted to tell her she had no reason to curtsey, but she was already out the door, closing it behind her with a click. He frowned and walked over to the tray.

After eating his lunch Arthur decided he was fed up with the blue room. He didn't know if the 'stay in the room' rule was still in affect or not, but he simply didn't care anymore- especially if the servants had already decided he was royalty.

He opened the door and stepped out into the hall. He knew he was going to get lost as soon as he turned more than three corners, but he threw caution out the window and decided to explore.

Two different maids and one guard ran into him on his wanderings. Each time, they bowed their heads- and each time Arthur scowled and told them to straighten. None of them seemed all that surprised at Arthur's apparent distaste for the sign of deference. Arthur supposed that if Alfred was their king, then perhaps formality wasn't a big deal in the palace.

True to his earlier insight, Arthur did become hopelessly lost in the halls. The worst part was, now that he was sure he was lost no servants passed his way. He was utterly alone in the large corridors.

Arthur decided that the best way to find someone was to head down to the ground floor, where the kitchens and servants' rooms must be. He ambled around until he found the stairway down and took it. He spent another good chunk of time wandering before he picked up on sweet scents in the air. He smiled at this, and approached the door that the smell was emanating from.

"Yes, of course." A strange voice drifted out as soon as he opened the door and peaked in. He saw a man standing at a stove, stirring at a pot.

"You're the best Li." Oh no. Arthur recognized _that _voice. He turned and began walking away but it was too late- a familiar figure appeared in the doorway Arthur had just evacuated.

"Oh! It's you!" Alfred smiled and rushed out after Arthur. Arthur winced, shying away from Alfred.

"Yes, I was just leaving." He brushed off the other man. Alfred remained unfazed.

"Where are you going?" he asked, easily keeping pace with the slightly smaller man. "I thought you just got here."

"Well yes but-" Arthur trailed off when he realized he still had no idea where he was.

Alfred raised an eyebrow at Arthur's silence. "Do you even know where you're going."

"Of course!" He snapped.

"...really?" Alfred grinned, causing Arthur to grow even more agitated.

"Yes! I just- I'm exploring." He sped up, hoping to escape.

"Really? Then come with me!" Arthur turned to protest, but the man grabbed a hold of his wrist and started pulling him around a corner.

"Hey! _Stop!_" He tried to pull his wrist out of the man's grasp, but it was no use. He noticed that there were plenty of servants passing by now, and glared at one maid that giggled as they rushed by.

"You said you were exploring, that means you weren't going anywhere, which means that I can show you around." Alfred wasn't taking no for an answer. Arthur had a sinking feeling that this man didn't take no for an answer for anything.

"You could at least tell me where we're going." Arthur jerked on his wrist again and nearly fell backwards when Alfred released him. He actually did begin slipping, but Alfred acted quickly and grabbed his arm.

"Could you _stop?_" Arthur was fed up, and he brushed off the man's arm violently after he had righted himself.

"Sorry?" Alfred shrugged, not very apologetic. "We're just here."

Arthur gave the other man a disbelieving look. "Did you really have to drag me down a single corridor?"

"Well I didn't know if you'd follow me." Alfred opened a large, bejeweled door. He strode in confidently and greeted the people inside.

Arthur approached much more carefully, standing in the doorway and wondering if he'd be able to make a break for it.

"Alfred, why are you here?" A man asked, stepping up to the king. Taking in the room, Arthur decided that it was some combination of a dining room and ballroom. Many doors seemed to be interconnected at this room, the walls were simply littered with them.

"Am I not allowed around my own castle?" Alfred said, feigning offense. He grinned and pulled the other man into a hug.

"Uh- ow- you know that's not what I meant- _ow._" The man pushed Alfred away and rubbed at his arm. Looking closely, the two men actually seemed rather similar. They both had similar colored blonde hair, Alfred's being short while the others fell down around his chin. Their faces were shaped much the same way as well, glasses adorning both of them.

One of the main differences about their appearances was their clothes. Alfred was of course wearing the same, still wrinkled, outfit as earlier. This new man wore a different coat, a shade of blue so dark it nearly rivaled black. Where Alfred's coat hung down to his thighs, this man's was a different style and was cut off neatly around his hips. Golden buttons ran up the center where the jacket closed.

And, of course, the _spades. _The spades were everywhere, every uniform around the castle seemed to be splattered with them. Arthur supposed he couldn't really say anything bad about the symbol, since his own clothes were decorated with them now, but _honestly_.

"Sorry," Alfred said, pulling away and turning to the door. Arthur had been wrapped up in taking category of all the new information in this room, and had missed his chance to sneak away. He physically winced as Alfred grabbed his arm and pulled him into the room.

"Oh, who is this?" The man started at the sight of Arthur. "And why is he..." His eyes darted to the side to look at Alfred.

"This is Arthur! I figured, since he knows Yao and I, I should started getting on introducing him to the rest of the court." Alfred grinned and nodded at his own words.

"Oh..." He looked at Alfred, who just stood there nodding excitedly. "Well, I'm Matthew Williams, Ace of Spades." The man held out one hand to Arthur. Arthur paused for a minute, hesitant, before taking the hand.

"Arthur Kirkland," he replied.

"Charmed." Matthew shot him a shy smile. "I look forward to working with you, but if you excuse me I must-"

"Wait," Arthur groaned. "Don't tell me you're on his side." He pointed his thumb towards Alfred, who was grinning dumbly.

"What?" Matthew paused mid-step, he had been in the process of walking over to another man who had been waving at him desperately. "You mean you're not..."

He rubbed at the back of his head. "I'm sorry, I'm confused. I just thought- nevermind. Uhm, then are you visiting from some other...? I don't..." He glanced over to Alfred. "Uh...?"

"Nope. You were right." Alfred gave the man a thumbs up. "He's my new Q-"

"Don't you even dare." Arthur cut him off. "There's been some confusion."

"Nuh-uh." Alfred shot back, rather childlike.

"So... yes? No?" Matthew gave off the appearance of a deer trapped in headlights. "I really- I need to know if we have-"

"No."

"_Yes._"

Matthew gave a strained smile. "Wonderful," he said. "I suppose I'll just stay out-"

"Nooo. Matt! You have to talk some sense into him." Alfred crossed his arms and pouted.

"I don't really see how-"

"You're Ace, you keep the records with Yao- so _you _can tell him he's Queen now." Arthur glared at Alfred. "I mean I just wanted to introduce you but-"

"Talk some sense into _me?_" Arthur asked incredulously. "_You're _the one who needs to get a grip."

"Well, you see I'm kind of busy right now-"

"And another thing! I am not a woman!"

"You see-"

"I _told _you. Queen Kiku's a man! It doesn't matter!"

"I have to-"

"I don't care about whoever _Kiku _is. You can't force me to-"

"Please-" Matthew was torn between his duty to support his king and the despairingly waving man who stood waiting for him- that and the sympathy he felt for Arthur, he knew how bad Alfred could be. He realized that no one was paying attention to him really, except the servant waiting on him, and he made a decision. He began inching away- hoping Alfred would not notice, he usually didn't.

"Oh no you don't." Alfred spun on Matthew's moving form. Matthew winced, why couldn't Alfred forget about him when he needed him to most?

"No, you can leave- you're obviously busy." Arthur waved at Matthew. Not only was the man not needed, but Arthur felt like he _needed_ to disagree with Alfred- if just to prove a point.

Matthew's eyes widened. "Oh, well- I mean-" He lifted a hand to his forehead. He was still unsure of exactly what was going on. If Arthur was telling the truth, then he was technically obligated to stay, as Alfred, the King, had ordered it- not that Alfred would actually do anything if he walked out other than whine for weeks. However, if Alfred was telling the truth than he had just been given conflicting orders.

Matthew was usually a stickler for rules, always following them. However, in this situation, Matthew decided perhaps rules and formalities weren't all that great.

Maybe reasoning with Alfred would help.

"I really _do _have to go Alfred. I need to make preparations with Yao for the Club's-"

"Oh crap, is that today!" Alfred spun to face Matthew, Arthur momentarily forgotten.

"Tomorrow, actually." Matthew sighed. "Really Alfred you should know that."

"Well I mean... it's not like the royalty is actually coming," he mumbled.

"Yes, well- big plans." Matthew began backing away to the servant who was now jumping up and down. "Diplomat- really must be going..." When Alfred pondered on this new information, Matthew apparently forgotten, Matthew took the opportunity to walk as fast as he could out the room. The servant yelped in joy as he left the room with the Ace.

"Hmm," Alfred lifted his gaze from where it had fallen to the ground to look at Arthur again.

"What?" Arthur asked guardedly, not liking the look the man was fixing him with.

"Well if the diplomat is arriving tomorrow..." Alfred started walking towards Arthur in an almost sinister way.

"Yes?" Arthur asked, backing away. Maybe he shouldn't have tried to send away Matthew, at least that man seemed decent enough.

"Well you need to get educated fast." Alfred darted forward suddenly and grabbed Arthur's arm before he could move away. "Come on, we need to find Yao."

"_We _nothing!" Arthur snapped as the man pulled on him. "_I_ was going to see Yao later anyway!"

"Oh? Good," Alfred smiled, "then where is he?"

Arthur opened his mouth to reply before stopping.

"That's what I thought."

Arthur yanked his arm out of the other man's grip and rubbed at it. He held up is hands in defense when it looked as if the man was going to grab for him again.

"I'll follow you!" He scowled and marched out of the room, not waiting for the other. "Git," he growled under his breath.

"Oh no, if the diplomat is coming tomorrow, that means the trip to Diamonds is in a week," Alfred mumbled behind him before rushing up to take the lead.

Arthur remained silent as he stamped down the hall, doing his very best to ignore Alfred, and to work out an actual plan in his head. He was really going to need one.

* * *

**So two new characters in this chapter, Alfred and Matthew. Alfred's the King of Spades obviously, and Matthew is Ace. (Because he's a boss.)**

**Thank you for all the follows, favorites and reviews! You guys are always so encouraging and nice. ^.^**

**Oh, and to Road2Frgel- Looking at it, this story actually does share themes with Alice and the Country of Hearts. (I've read that before) Mostly with the whole "everyone loves Alice" bit. Though, in this it's less "everyone loves Arthur" and more "everyone either loves the idea of an 'Alice' or hates it". That and Peter sort of kidnapping Arthur. (He's even named Peter too.) **

**I'll get to more Alice in Wonderland references later too- just that the royalty and the court of the kingdoms don't fit into Alice in Wonderland roles.**

**Now excuse me while I procrastinate some more and avoid doing actual work by writing about fictional personifications of countries. Because my life is amazing that way.**

**Thank you for reading! :)**


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